So, Juneathon was going to be a running month, but I discovered that running is unpleasant for me. Too many unexplainable pains, especially knees and hips. I think I want to lose some weight, and then give it another try. I really like running, mostly. I just don’t like the joint pain. When I workout with weights, I only have normal muscle aches and pains, and those go away.
Anyway, enough of that.
The past couple of weeks have been unprecedented in racial violence and unrest. As a white person, I know my place in all of this, and I also have come face to face with my responsibility, as well. No matter what I’ve done up until now, it’s not enough. When strangers think they have found a kindred soul and will spew racist shit with no hesitation at me, I know I haven’t done enough. Granted, they probably feel comfortable because I’m white, but that’s not ok, either. And honestly, this kind of shit never happened to me until the current administration. It’s obvious some pretty despicable humans feel emboldened lately, and that’s more than a little problematic. But another problem is my unwillingness to call these people out right then. I know self-preservation plays a part in my decision, but so does avoidance of conflict, especially with an unknown. It’s something I’m hoping to get better about.
I’m currently reading “How To Be An Antiracist” by Ibram X. Kendi, and have joined an online book club to discuss it. Of course, the entire club of 20+ people are all white, which is good and bad. I fear that it will eventually devolve into a bunch of overeducated folks (most are teachers) thinking that by admitting their racism, their work is done. We’ve only had one meeting, so I’m giving it time. I’m not sure how much they’ve truly internalized that admission, or if it’s just for show. But there I go, judging and choosing to see the worst in people I don’t know. I’m hoping to get better about that, as well.
Anyway, how are you all doing?